wishful thinking is a weapon

2025: a play in 12 acts

It’s interesting to feel yourself slip into a new chapter of life. You don’t always feel like something has ended. There was no closing ceremony, no shedding of skin, but I know it left. My old life is gone. There was a time when I existed on top of it, adding things to it that wouldn’t quite stick, but it’s not under me anymore. I’m breaking ground on something new.

Skimming through old notebooks I found an entry from 2021. I had written it in my house in San Francisco while plotting my move to New York. It was a list of wants for the new year and beyond, and I wrote them as specifically as possible to make sure the visions were clear. I underlined the ones that came true.

1. A beautiful apartment near Prospect Park that feels safe and like home. Windows facing south, and washer dryer in building. Tree-lined streets and neighborhood spots.

Mostly true, though the washer dryer broke over a year ago and the landlord still hasn’t fixed it.

2. A job that gives me creative freedom to explore and allows me a life outside of it. Working remote, seeing family, travel, is all possible. I am respected and learn a lot and make more money than I ever have.

Also true, even the days I wish I was just writing Keepsake full-time. When I wrote this, I was eight months into being laid off from a symphony of part-time work, and the idea of having an office job seemed impossible.

3. The ability to inspire others by being myself-

The complete entry of this is marred by water stains from writing in the bath, but it’s the one I’m most interested in re-reading. I wish I knew the end to that sentence, but the beginning rings true all the same.

Later that year, I had a tarot reading and was told I would find the greatest success of my life in being myself. My mother told me I should be a life coach, which I laughed off immediately, but there is a shade of that in the writing I do now. Hopefully (hopefully!) you read this newsletter because it inspires you.

I say this not to brag about my manifesting skills, but to encourage you to look back on where you’ve been. There are probably things you wanted a few years ago that you have today, or maybe there’s something you would’ve killed for that now you wouldn’t give a second thought to. We change so slowly, and then all at once. It’s strange to witness your own reflection.

I took this reflection and started writing a new list of new manifestations for 2025. I don’t think you need to wish things to make them happen, but it helps to have a list of wants in mind. What are the most important things to me right now? Can I trust my gut where it wants me to go? Can I lean into my magic? I want to train the muscles that work so hard to get me where I’m going. I am becoming more myself with every step.

March: Intuition

following threads, recognizing patterns, creating your own narrative

• Marvel at your instincts. We all have them, and whether they’re protecting us from something foul or guiding us towards something wonderful they deserve to be marveled at. What are a few things you’ve been right about in that gut feeling way? How can you use that feeling to open yourself up to the possibility of being right again and again? Thank yourself for getting you this far in life. Every day is a trust exercise you are succeeding at.

• Affirm your taste. Try things on and boldly and publicly declare your love for them. What are you interested in, what gets you fired up? It’s important to have a strong point of view, so what do you see strongly? If you’re someone who waits for others to state their opinion, or googles reviews of the movie before crafting your own for Letterboxd, what would happen if you let yourself speak first? There are no rights or wrongs in this exercise just things that you believe fiercely.

• Test your limits. There is a very real chance that the things you’ve told yourself you can’t do are just things you told yourself. Isn’t that so silly? Put yourself out there in a way that feels rewarding and reflects what you want out of life.

• Make decisions. This is tough, I know, but even the little ones add up. Decide what you’re wearing tomorrow the night before. Decide where you and your friend are going to dinner this weekend. Decide to go a different way on your daily walk and see where it takes you. Learn as you go.

• Trust you’ll be better for it. Intuition and trust go hand in hand. You need to be able to give in to your feelings and follow them where they lead.

I’ve always been fascinated by intuition as a party trick. This ambiguous thing we all have that some people can tune like a musical instrument to access the unseen. Intuitive mediums are a big example of this. I’ve grown up with faint connections to some sort of other world, some parallel current alongside our own, but I never turned the volume up loud enough to consider it mediumship. I never trusted that the things I saw were truly things I saw, not just wishful thinking. I didn’t want to assume something was there that wasn’t. Now I feel there’s no worse death than the death of curiosity.

If I trust my intuition with the little things maybe I can grow this connection stronger. I could get another tarot reading. I could have my palm read by a neighborhood psychic. I could allow myself to wonder and therefore allow myself to grow. Mindfulness is a sort of superpower in this way. I think about those cases where someone cancels their flight and ends up avoiding a deadly plane crash. How could they possibly have known that? Same thing goes for your loving dog that realized your boyfriend sucked before you did. What alerted their instinct? Whether it’s a message from beyond or a feeling from within, it’s all connected to this second sight.

I want to trust my gut the way the dog does. I think I’m already on the way there. Each new chapter of life will get you closer to the center of what you’ve been searching for, you just have to know where to look.

⊹₊ Keepsakes from February ₊ ⊹

I started the month strong with a birthday brunch for my sister. I had so much fun decorating her gift bag and customizing her birthday card, thanks mostly to a surge of inspiration from penning so you wanna bring back snail mail. The tiny ways to show someone you love them can make you feel so loved in return.

I finally got my dream sneakers after months of debate. They fit like a dream, and the knowledge that they will hit even harder in spring is giving me something to look forward to.

While home visiting my parents I got to peek at our family photo albums. This always makes me happy, and I somehow always find a picture of me I’ve never seen before (hi little yellow raincoat Julianna don’t get too attached to the American flag btw).

My dad pulled out all his old slides from a trip to Peru in the 60s, and we spent the evening holding them up to the light and inserting them in his stereoscopic viewer for a 3d photo effect. I held my phone to the finder to snap that picture of Machu Picchu on the bottom left. The dark haired man at the back is my grandfather.

I attended a Galentine’s fundraiser for Planned Parenthood that would make your heart melt by wonderful hosts Aisha Joshi (Produce Parties) and Sarah Bourlakas (Sweet Treat). It was the perfect mix of mingling with the girlies and fighting for our right to life saving medical care. I know there are a million things wrong with the world right now, but it felt good to donate and connect with people who want to make a difference.

Even though I’m beyond ready for spring it was pretty magical to have so many snow days in February, and I got to experience it so many different ways. First through the windows of my apartment, then out in a flurry in Prospect Park. I took snowy walks around Park Slope, snowy walks in Greenwood Cemetery, and even snowy walks in Gramercy where I was rewarded with warm hand-pulled noodles afterward. I love when winter isn’t just cold, it’s snowflaked.

What else? So much fun personal stuff. I was featured on Rachel Schwartzmann’s newsletter and shared seven short stories that mean the world to me. Rachel in turn was featured on Keepsake and debuted a brand new series I’m so excited about: For Keeps.

It’s basically a home tour for all the special collectible trinkets in your life, and I can’t wait to host more people for their keepsake tours.

March Minigame

A big part of tapping into your intuition is understanding what’s in between the lines. This could be keeping record of your dreams, paying close attention to your physical and emotional feelings, or looking for the silence amongst the clammer of daily life around you.

Feel free to attempt whatever version of this is accessible to you. Is it journaling? Is it walks around your neighborhood with no music/podcasts? Try to pick something that clears your mind. I’ll also be doing a daily tarot card pull and journaling around that.

I hope February was as good to you and you’re opening your heart to the possibility of March.

xo,

Julianna

To keep up with Keepsake and fun features like ‘2025: a play in 12 acts’ make sure you’re subscribed. Paid subscribers get a bonus newsletter called club keepsake with additional creative prompts, and annual subscriptions are 30% off.